Talking with Sonia Main, Love at War.

Talking with Sonia Main, Love at War.

Sonia Main, Red Cross Nurse, now living in the USA.

Sonia is everything I thought she will be. Well dressed and sophisticated, she gave nothing away of her experiences. Her confidence was visible in every gesture. 

Her curly hair falling from the loose bun and the green eyes sparkled with wisdom and joy. One cannot help but respect her. Strength resonated from her.

The story made many changes before it settled into the plotline it is. Even your name had undergone a few changes until Sonia stuck. What is your take about all the changes your character underwent? 

Sonia smiled, her eyes squinting before she replied. “Lynelle underwent a painful time when she had written the first draft back in 2012. Her mindset far removed from the person she is now. My character experienced each painful step until we both found our feet. The way the story developed came as a surprise, but I am satisfied so, I never had a problem with the changes. My character always grew through it all until the end.” 

There are many topics covered within the book, but the major one that stands out is abuse against women. Young and old experience it. We can never say enough about it. Even now, in 2020, we still need to address it.

“That is true.” Her attention returns to me. “We must talk about it till every person has taken note. And the culprit paid. With all our advantages of today, we misuse free will. Under the free will umbrella, some will use it as they see fit. Abusers, bullies, rapists and murderess roam free while we must stay behind locked doors. There are organisations and people willing to help. Women need to know this.”

It seems this is important to you.

“Yes, I feel passionate about it. My time on the streets and in Africa taught me we do not do enough for women and children. They are the most vulnerable to live’s turnings. When you add war into the mix, it becomes harder for them. We all need to survive. Gender equality is important. 

All women want to feel safe, know we care for them and grow. No matter race or skin colour. We are so much more than the colour of our skin or our past. That does not define us. Our willingness to be the best sets us apart. Without knowledge, she will remain in her situation without hope.”

What does hope mean to you?

“The Bible says, ‘Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen’. When our faith is obscured with the worries of the world, we lose hope in everything around us. Then you become an unbalanced person with no steering wheel and no direction. I was like that long before my story began in Love at War. When Lynelle changed the name of the book, it changed everything in my story. Gone was the lost girl that had no anchor. Lynelle made it possible for me to find my legs again. She helped me to grow, I just did not always do it the way she did it, but I trusted her.”

Do you think Lynelle experienced something similar?

“No, not exactly like me. Her story differs from mine, but she and Phillip Burger’s life stories are strikingly comparable. The reason she created Phillip’s character. He is the anchor within the story with wisdom that blows my mind.”

What do you mean?

 “Phillip’s experiences grounded me and Curt in so many ways. Other than the Father, he became our go-to guy when life presented us with curveballs. No one can be like that if they did not undergo their own turmoil. Only when we have overcome, can we give.”

What does your faith mean to you, now?

“in the beginning my faith was meaningless. But God had a way of getting my attention. Once he had it, I learned to depend on him more. The six-month-plotline was an eye-opener. It cleansed me, healed me, and taught me valuable lessons I would not have learned any other way. My faith is my secret weapon and I go nowhere if God is not with me.”

Once we find our feet and tap into the bigger part of us, then we become more focused, I have learned.

“That is true. Once we tap into the Lord and who He is, we cannot go wrong. We must have a childlike faith, otherwise, we will lose the fight.

You and Lynelle come a long way—from 2012, I believe. She wrote the first draft back then. What have you learned about her?

“Lynelle is a passionate woman that feels deeply, loves deeply and gives unconditionally. Her faith tested severely, and she had lost everything, and her confidence and faith. Her trust went through the fire, and she turned her back on God. I sensed that during all the changes Curt and I had to go through. When she struggled with her marriage, it was visible in the story. It reflected every struggle in the book. She had to find her feet in a gloomy street in Pretoria, to continue with the story.”

It seems Pretoria is significant for both of you.

“Pretoria has no wonderful memories for both of us, it was much like a sweet and sour time and left its mark on us. Life continues no matter where you are. The secret is to connect with God again. He is the same as yesterday, today and tomorrow.” 

What did you learn about yourself during this time?

She giggled, fell silent and then blush. “It is so easy to judge a person when you don’t know the full story. I think Lynelle touched it very well by showing the effects of every character’s choices. It forces us to do things, even when it goes against the norm, but we achieve the result and not only survive. No sorry, not survive but walk in victory. That is the key message of the story. No matter where you are, what you face or how bad it gets, there is always hope. Love at the end is a war you first need to conquer within yourself before you can win. It is an apt name for the book. 

The book has four pivotal parts: Love in conflict, Love’s decisions, Love’s betrayal, and Love’s Victory. Love can be our anchor, but it can also deceive us. Only when we grow in ourselves do we understand love. 

Time plays a big role in the story itself. Love and time, a unique combination that not only tells of a deadline but what can happen in a short amount of time.” 

At times we think we have all the time in the world till time becomes a definite schedule.

“Everything revolves around time. From the moment we are born, time measures us. Right at the beginning of the book Lynelle had written, ‘Measured in seconds, time’s algorithm captures infinity within each movement. Worlds changes and fragments become relics. Fashioning a new set of rules to profit from your only choice.’ I thought about those rules she referred to. It is only through a higher source that we can find an extra set of rules. As a child, we learn a set of rules from our parents, school and church and add our own because of experiences. But once life confronts us, then we need to tap into the higher source, receive an additional set of rules and live. The time has a different meaning, and it becomes wiser in its application. In our case, our connection with God made the difference. It gave us the freedom to grow and find ourselves. “

In closing, without giving away any spoilers, what can you share with us about the book?

She laughed, an uninhibited laugh of one who is at ease with her life. “Love at war is a love story with many layers. It promises adventure, tension, turmoil, pain, and some lighter moments as you move from South Sudan to Iraq to America through the different stages of the story. It is a global story, and any reader can relate to it. Abuse, abortion, rape, fear, pain, divorce, and the search for more in life a universal connection that binds us all. My story is not unique but the powerful message a lasting memory long after the book is done.”  

Read more HERE

You can purchase the book at these online shops.

Store / Amazon / Smashwords / Ns. Skrywershuis / Webnovel / Barnes and Nobel / Kobo / Booktopia

Day 3: Direction of Thoughts

Day 3: Direction of Thoughts

There are two directions of thoughts to consider: in or out. The OUTs are thoughts that are outside of the Word of God. They are also outside of who God created us to be. The ‘out’ thoughts are coming at us and coming against us. These thoughts are lies and steal, kill, and destroy our soul. These thoughts are trying to find a home in our soul, but we cannot allow them. They will accuse us, put us down, and will try to enter any way possible. They try to enter by our own words or words from others, but they are never, ever true. The source of these words is the enemy, “our adversary.” He waits for any moment to attack us with ‘out’ thoughts.

The INs are thoughts that are in line with the Word of God. They are also inside of us because of the mind of Christ that we have been given through salvation. Jeremiah said, “When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight” (Jeremiah 15:16 NIV). The ‘in’ thoughts are coming from our spirits that are rooted in Christ and are always for us. These thoughts speak truth and are what God says about us. They are thoughts that build us up, strengthen us, renew our strength, and bring us joy. These thoughts already have a home in our spirit and a desire to make a home in our soul. These thoughts purify our soul (even in correction) and bring life to broken and dead places. They will silence all the ‘out’ thoughts and allow us to hear the voice of God clearly. God is the source of these thoughts. The ‘in’ thoughts are always speaking in us (by the Holy Spirit) and we have to pay attention to them. The ‘out’ thoughts are loud and coming at us.

When we focus on the ‘in’ thoughts, they will silence the ‘out’ thoughts and block their attack. When we think thoughts and hear words, we need to ask, “Are these thoughts or words coming at me from the outside? Or are these thoughts and words coming from within me?”


Jeremiah 15:16: Your words were found and I ate them, And Your words became a joy to me and the delight of my heart;
For I have been called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts.
1 Peter 5:8-9: Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour. 9But resist him, be firm in your faith [against his attack—rooted, established, immovable], knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being experienced by your brothers and sisters throughout the world. [You do not suffer alone.]

Think About It

1. Can you identify whether your thoughts are coming from within or out? Think about how you identify them.

2. Do you pull out your ‘out’ thoughts like weeds or do you water them?

3. Speak two to three ‘in’ thoughts over yourself or your current situation right now.

Taken from SoulSister: Renewing Your Soul With the Word of God by TiaMarie Arnold

To continue reading this Bible plan and many others join You Version and look underneath the Bible plans for this plan. 

Day 2: Sweet to the Soul

Day 2: Sweet to the Soul

It’s easy to take offense when someone says or does something to you that you feel you don’t deserve. Our soul, in those situations, wants to do the natural thing: take offense and clap back. Yup, I said clap back!

Clap back in the urban dictionary means, “a comeback, most likely pumped with attitude, sass and or shade.” Yeah, that sounds pretty natural to me, but Proverbs tells us to do the opposite of clapping back. It tells us to use kind words. Why? Because kind words are sweet to the soul. Remember, we are taking this journey to renew, reprogram, and to be transformed in our souls.

The Bible teaches us about seedtime and harvest. In situations where we must make a choice on what type of seed we are going to sow, sowing kind words will result in reaping a sweet soul and a healthy body. I think it’s safe to say that if we do the opposite and choose to sow the clap back seed, we will reap a bitter soul and an unhealthy body. Clapping back is a good sign that there is hurt that has led to bitterness that now provokes a bitter action. Bitterness leads to stress, stress leads to mess, and mess (waste) is unhealthy. We, as believers, need to forgive. We must lead by example. Having a sweet soul, a healthy soul, and a renewed soul must be important to us—not clapping back. I know that’s hard at times, but we can do it. Let’s lead by example today by choosing kind words even in the face of offense. Do this and your harvest will be good and sweet.


Prov 26: 24: Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweet and delightful to the soul and healing to the body. AMP

Gal 6: 7-10: Do not be deceived, God is not mocked [He will not allow Himself to be ridiculed, nor treated with contempt nor allow His precepts to be scornfully set aside]; for whatever a man sows, this and this only is what he will reap. 8For the one who sows to his flesh [his sinful capacity, his worldliness, his disgraceful impulses] will reap from the flesh ruin and destruction, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in. 10So then, while we [as individual believers] have the opportunity, let us do good to all people [not only being helpful, but also doing that which promotes their spiritual well-being], and especially [be a blessing] to those of the household of faith (born-again believers). AMP


Think About It

1. Is it your natural instinct to clap back? If so, think about when you wanted to clap back, but God helped you sow a seed of kind words instead.

2. Pray about the difficulties you face when wanting to overcome hurt and bitterness.

3. Think about areas in your life now that you need God to uproot the bad seeds and plant good seeds.

4. Do you struggle in giving kind words? Practice now and say something kind about a person who has hurt you.

Taken from SoulSister: Renewing Your Soul With the Word of God by TiaMarie Arnold

Day 1: Finding Rest

Day 1: Finding Rest

Finding Rest

A soul resting in God says, “I don’t need to know the details, I just need to trust in God.” Trust that at the right time, God will make things clear in His timing. He may not answer all the what’s, why’s, and how’s in our timing, but He will eventually make it clear. The only way to find rest for your soul is by entering a spiritual rest. The only way to enter a spiritual rest is by trusting in God. Our soul is where the spiritual battles are taking place. There is a constant pulling of thoughts, emotions, and wills. When we trust, pray, and wait on God, we will find rest for our soul.

He will lead, guide, and never leave or forsake us because that’s what He promised us (Deuteronomy 31:6). All the noise, all the thoughts and emotions will come under submission of the supernatural peace of God, which is found in His rest. If you’re seeking direction, rest in Him.

You can’t hear God and wait on Him if you’re consumed with all your thoughts and your busyness. The world says work, worry, and wonder, but the spirit of a SoulSister says wait, worship, and watch.


Ps 62: 1: "For God alone my soul waits in silence; From Him comes my salvation." AMP
Phil 4: 6-7: "Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. 7And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours]." AMP
Deut 31:6: "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble in dread before them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.” AMP

Think About It

1. Think about a time where you went from work, worry, and wonder to wait, worship, and watch.

2. What are some ways that you can command your soul to rest?

Taken from SoulSister: Renewing Your Soul With the Word of God by TiaMarie Arnold

Feeling stuck? Release your creativity.

To begin your journey, download the introduction booklet, print it, sign the contract (you make this with yourself) and let me know your thoughts or if you want more information. Or visit the coaching page.

The 12 week course is a manual that will take you through the process of creativity.


  1. Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure creative energy.
  2. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life—including ourselves.
  3. When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator's creativity within us and our lives.
  4. We are, ourselves, creations. It means that we should continue creativity by being creative ourselves.
  5. Creativity is God's gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.
  6. The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.
  7. When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction.
  8. As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes can be expected.
  9. It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.
  10. Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity.

The purpose of art is not a rarefied, intellectual distillate—it is life, intensified, brilliant life.


What to expect during this journey.

While there is no quick fix for instant, pain-free creativity, creative recovery (or discovery) is a teachable, trackable spiritual process. Each of us is complex and highly individual, yet there are common recognizable denominators to the creative recovery process.

  • Working with this process, I experienced a certain amount of defiance and giddiness in the first few weeks. This entry stage is followed closely by explosive anger in the course’s midsection.
  • The anger is followed by grief, then alternating waves of resistance and hope.
  • This peaks-and-valleys phase of growth becomes a series of expansions and contractions, a birthing process in which students experience intense elation and defensive scepticism.
  • This choppy growth phase is followed by a strong urge to abandon the process and return to life as we know it. In other words, a bargaining period.


“People are often tempted to abandon the course at this point. I call this a creative U-turn.”

Julia Cameron

  • Recommitment to the process triggers the free-fall of a major ego surrender.
  • Following this, the last phase of the course is characterized by a new sense of self marked by increased autonomy, resilience, expectancy, and excitement—and by the capacity to make and execute concrete creative plans.
Time wasted is being untruthful to myself.
  • If this sounds like a lot of emotional tumult, it is. When we engage in a creativity recovery, we enter a withdrawal from life as we know it.



Many people are born leaders but never receive the opportunity or recognition for work done. Many are not even allowed the freedom to be authentic. And to be honest, you still lack that WOW aspect that will propel you to higher heights. Especially into your craft of choice. The reason you stumbled on my website or joined my news feed

There are many careers that allow you the freedom of creativity. Yet you feel stuck and not appreciated. Whatever the case, maybe you are here, searching for that WOW aspect. For many, it is hard to define for others the most obvious thing. But for you it is lingering in the background, and you are unsure how to tap into it without some guidance or even for confirmation of your feelings.

We are all created in the image of God; therefore, we can create. Our interests and passions make this clear when the topic comes up, you light up. In return, you will receive the peace you crave.

Maybe you have done nothing before according to what you understand is creativity and have this intense desire to create, but never find the outlet or time to do so. It remains on your dream board/to-do-list/new year's resolution. If that is you, then you are at the right place.

Even when I was a homemaker for nineteen years and did many things in that period, I was unsatisfied. To pass the time I baked, cooked, canned, painted, studies the bible, did gardening, meditated, connected with people through church, was a taxi-mum, helped with schoolwork, paid the bills—in short: a jack-of-all-trades but still I felt I missed out. The closest I came to being satisfied with my life was when I home-schooled my children. My creativity was peaked, my curiosity stimulated and my yearning to do more than just housework satisfied. During that five-year period, I could be myself, relax and enjoy the path before me. With the freedom of imparting into them while I learned. I became self-disciplined in the tasks laid upon me. Took my role as mother and teacher seriously and fully committed to all three. Once my children moved on, I became stuck with the normal everyday life of being a homemaker, again. There were no challenges or opportunities for creativity.

The following year we began a business which pleased my adventurous spirit. I learned about computers, cell phones and the basic understanding of electronics. It had felt as if a new world had opened, as I added new skills to my curriculum vitae. I was proud of my accomplishments, and it gave me a sense of freedom. Six years later it all collapsed, and I was back at square one.

The question always unanswered. Why do I constantly feel I am missing something?

After a time of searching, sometimes in the wrong places, I met up with a previous mentor and friend in early 2020, who encouraged me to connect with God once more. During that same time period, I discovered The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, and it finally fitted together as a gigantic puzzle. I was getting somewhere. Connecting with my spiritual side, which was dormant for many years, I understood that the two walk together. Through the morning pages, my inner child was re-introduced to me, which revealed my creative path.

During a Life Coaching course, I discovered some core beliefs that kept me blocked. Once it became unblocked, I became receptive to creativity. Once I faced theses blocks small synchronicities happened which opened me for bolder steps.

The reason it blocks you is that you believe in half-truths which cause you to put off till next year. Till we shift it to the back. We drown the creative voice and tell it to be still.

Once we submit to the Source, it reveals the power of creativity. I call it Source because I don't just want to reach Christian believers, but all people. We all believe in a Higher Power, what we call it doesn't matter. What does matter, is that the connection between you, your Source and your creativity is vital for your growth. Once that is sorted you can create effortlessly: no matter the medium you choose.

Whether it is to create beautiful sculptures, icing on cake, barista, architect, writer, screenwriter, mother, father, entrepreneur, or the CEO of a big company, you can put your creativity to good use and experience the freedom of the river to flow with ease.

Creativity Implies: The Possibility of Personal Accountability.

"You mean if I have these gifts, I'm supposed to use them?" Yes.

"Creative power is mightier than its possessor."

C.G. Jung

The heart of creativity is an experience of the mystical union; the heart of the mystical union is an experience of creativity. Those who speak in spiritual terms routinely refer to God as the creator but seldom see creator as the literal term for artist. I am suggesting you take the term creator literally. You are seeking to forge a creative alliance, artist-to-artist with the Great Creator. Accepting this concept can expand your creative possibilities.

Creativity is an experience — a spiritual experience. It does not matter how you think of it: creativity leading to spirituality or spirituality leading to creativity. In fact, I do not distinguish between the two. Faced with such experience, it renders the whole question of belief obsolete.

As Carl Jung answered the question of belief late in his life, "I don't believe; I know."

It is this knowing that we are after. When I know, I am. We learn this principle within the scriptures. When truth becomes yours, you don't quote someone else, you speak now with conviction.

"Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth."

Rumi, The Essential Rumi

If interested to learn more hop over to the resource page and download your manual.

The book is a process. As I learn I add or remove.

Here are more resources that will help you on your journey.

Or visit the coaching page.

The 12 week course is a manual that will take you through the process of creativity.

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